I waited and waited and waited, in the end there wasn't any news from her..
Maybe she doesn't know how much i wanted to meet her, or she just doesn't to meet me still ..
SIGH ..
3 Weeks ago ....
Remember the next day after we broke up, i actually drive to her house to look for her. I waited at the parking lot, wanting to meet her. But in the end, we only talked on the phone. I cried and begged her to not break up with me, but she refuse to listen to me. i asked her on that day for the reason that we break up, is it because of my temper? but in the end she given me plenty of reasons.
1) I don't have money and car
2) I am very childish
3) I don't have vision
4) I do things without care of other people's feeling
5) SHE DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE, AND WILL NOT BE TOGETHER WITH ME AGAIN !
( The last one actually hurt me the most )
she asked me to go away, so i did .. i drove away in tears and stunt with what just happened.
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Then the next day, i actually went and waited her at the train station she normally go.
I was actually late on that day, i was so nervous that i might missed the chance of meeting her there. I walked up the escalator almost reaching the top, i saw her going down the other way. Once she saw me, she actually pick up her pace to avoid me getting to her. So, i ran using stairs and actually get to her. I tried to talk to her, and hold her hand but she just refused. We got into the train together.
In the train, i actually asked her again for the real reason.
She said that she don't like me anymore and will not be with me again.
I asked since when , she answered me it started 2 months ago ..
I was again shock and holding tears in my eyes, begging her for another chance
She refused and get abort from train.
i continue on my journey home alone, with tears in my eyes, recalling every words she said to me
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few days later, on the 30th .. i try again.
Originally, i planned on the 31st ( new years eve ) to wait her outside her office
But, on the 31st its actually a public holiday and i wasn't sure that she will work on that day, so I change to the day earlier.
On the 30th, i actually waited her outside her working place for 2 hours under the sun.
Due to lost of appetite, i actually didn't consume anything on that day, really feel like fainting.
I told her i was there waiting but she asked again to leave. But i didn't, with the hot sun and all the exhaust fume from the vehicle its really suffering, but i still manage to hang on until she finish her work.
I actually saw her from far, she is using another route, so i ran forward using another way to get to see her.
In the end, we saw each other, but i didn't step forward, i just see her from across the street
She didn't give me any reaction, she just talk to her colleague and went to the train station
I really feel disappointed and sad ..
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I feel sad and hurt with the things she said to me. But i just doesn't know what is the real cause to all these, maybe those reason she given is true or it maybe not. But I know i am really hurt after hearing all those, and i deserve it. Due to the fact that i realized i didn't treat her very well too.. SIGH ..
I mistreated her and i admit it, but I admit too that i love her very much ..
She just not gonna give me another chance ..
But i will not give up, maybe i am too foolish and stubborn ..
i maybe very badly hurt
but i will not give up just
due to the fact she is the one i loved
and i will carry on like i promised
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