Confession , Things i did to her that i regretted the MOST !!!

I have never been a good partner to her ..

i am a guy with terrible temper and i always mistreat her ..

i always angry of her over small matters. when it happen, i always ask her not to call me nor sms me.. but she still do , keep calling me to talk to me on the phone. but i will always reject the call once the phone rang, until eventually i answer her. ( on Christmas Eve 2010, same thing actually happen again, she insist to call me but i said something very terrible to her .....

i said : you are less worthy compare even to my phone battery, talking to you waste my phone's battery " this is really bad .. when i recall this, i hate myself very much !! i really do , i am such a junk ! i am sure everyone agree .. .. ..

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Some time , when we went hang out together. i might accidentally said something which upset her, she might just walk away from me. But not even once that i being a bf the person who run forward to grab her hand to stop her going away. when she do this, i will just continue walking. UNtil , she call me and look for me .. ( i really regretted that i never grab her in those situation

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I am such a rubbish who always do and say things without care of her feeling .. there is a time where i try to control my temper, by hitting the wall very hard with my fist. in the end, my fist all swollen up and something gone wrong with the bone. I even cut myself on the arm just to relief myself from all the temper. I know things like this is hurting the physical me, but she is not happy about that too .. JUst i didn't care of her feelings at that time.

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ALL this is haunting me now, as i feel really guilty and regret that i never appreciate when she is around, i take her for granted , until the moment i losses her. though she said the reason we broke up wasn't my fault, BUT after recalling all my wrongdoings , its surely one of the main reason .

This is the 2nd week after we break up, is around this time TOO .. i really regretted what i did and didn't on the night.

BUT ... I still love her very much !!!